Hey Kleenex! What were you thinking?

Apr 20, 2010

Wait a second. Stop and rewind that commercial. Did we see that correctly? Disposable hand towels? Is this a joke? When did The Onion start running TV commercials?

No joke. Kleenex Hand Towels, single-use towels for bathroom hand drying, are indeed real. Because “your hands are only as clean as the towel used to dry them.”

Kleenex compares this new product to their introduction of facial tissues to replace cloth handkerchiefs. But a clean towel used to dry clean hands is a far cry from blowing your nose multiple times on a handkerchief and then carrying it around in your pocket all day.

In the hand drying facts on their Web site, Kleenex tries to scare us into believing that “regular washing of cloth hand towels does not ensure cleanliness.”

Wow, we should really start wearing disposable clothes if that's true.

To make matters worse, the geniuses at Kimberly-Clark have chosen Earth Month to launch a major television ad push for Kleenex hand towels. Of course, they depict normal hand towels as disgustingly as possible by showing everyone, even the family dog, getting their dirty mitts all over them.

And how cute is this? Kleenex has penned an educational Drying Song to teach your kids how to be wasteful too. Because “no yucky old towel’s gonna ruin my day.”

Sorry Kleenex, but it’s our Earth Day that you’re ruining. Sigh.